As an Alabama based wedding planner, I spend months (sometimes over a year!) helping couples plan a day that’s meaningful, joyful, and true to them. But here’s a little secret—guests play a huge part in how the day actually feels. Whether it’s your first wedding invite or you’ve got five on your calendar this year, being a thoughtful, present guest makes all the difference. So if you’re wondering how to be the guest every couple (and planner!) loves—read on.
The Do’s: How to Be a Wedding Guest MVP
RSVP Promptly
That little card or link you received? It matters more than you think. Couples are making headcounts, seating charts, and vendor decisions based on your response, so don’t wait until the last minute.
Stick to the Dress Code
If the invitation says formal, don’t show up in jeans. If it says cocktail, leave the ballgown at home. When in doubt, ask the couple or check their wedding website. It shows respect for the vibe they’ve worked hard to create.
Arrive on Time
Weddings tend to run like clockwork. Slipping into the ceremony after it’s started? Not ideal. Give yourself time for parking and finding your seat. You’ll feel less flustered, and the couple will appreciate your punctuality.
Put Your Phone Away During the Ceremony
Trust me, there’s a professional photographer there for a reason. Snap a photo at cocktail hour if you’d like, but during the vows? Be present. Phones in the air not only ruin photos, they pull you out of the moment.
Follow the Seating Chart
If you’re assigned to Table 6, that’s your table. A lot of thought (and spreadsheets) went into who sits where, and it helps the flow of dinner and service.
Be Mindful with the Bar
Have a great time, but pace yourself. The open bar isn’t an open invitation to lose all self-awareness.
Celebrate the Couple
Stay for the special moments like the cake cutting and first dance. Hit the dance floor. Toast to love. Your energy helps set the tone for the night.
The Don’ts: What Not to Do (Even If Your Aunt Debbie Said It Was Fine)
Don’t Wear White (or Cream or Champagne)
This one’s timeless for a reason. Let the couple shine on their day.
Don’t Post Before the Couple Does
If they haven’t shared a photo yet, don’t post one for them. Let them enjoy that first big “we’re married!” moment.
Don’t Bring an Uninvited Plus-One
If your guest isn’t listed on the invitation, they weren’t invited. Bringing someone uninvited creates awkward situations and can strain the couple’s budget and seating arrangements.
Don’t Block the Photographer
Please don’t jump into the aisle with your phone during the first kiss or stand in front of the first dance with your iPad. You’ll miss the moment and so will the couple in their photos.
Don’t Complain (Even If You Don’t Like the Chicken)
Every detail was chosen with care. Even if it’s not your favorite meal or music, the best thing you can do is smile, enjoy, and remember why you’re there: to celebrate love.
Grace and Gratitude Go a Long Way
Being a great wedding guest isn’t about being perfect, it’s about being thoughtful. Your presence, your joy, and your kindness help make the day feel as special as it should. So RSVP on time, wear something fabulous (but not white), and bring your best energy. Looking for more tips or ready to plan a wedding of your own? Let’s chat. Click here to inquire about working together.
Hi there!
I'm Chelsea
My southern roots inspire my approach to planning.
From fluffing your dress before you walk down the aisle to managing every detail behind the scenes, I find joy in serving you. Every moment, big or small, is handled with care to make your day effortless and unforgettable.
